Пт. Мар 1st, 2024

Information on a man who was conflicted about taking care of his little sister was revealed in a Reddit post that was twice blocked.

The original poster (OP) intended to do everything in his power for her, but his wife had a different perspective. When the OP’s father passed away, leaving his sister without anybody to care for her, the OP and his wife had been married for two years.

The OP is more of a father figure than an elder brother because his sibling is considerably younger.

A man holding a crying young girl | Source: Shutterstock

When their father went away, the little sister of the OP was eleven. The OP and his wife were childless at the time and had no intention of becoming parents in the near future. The issue arose since the couple didn’t want kids.

The OP and his family had a severe loss, and as they grieved, they faced some challenging choices. These choices, however, resulted in unanticipated conflict. The OP mentioned:

“My father passed away from pancreatic cancer. There are 2 options for my sister: either I take her in or my uncle [dad’s brother]. So we asked her who she wanted, and she chose me. Here is the problem: My wife and I decided that we did not want kids.”

Upset young girl resting her head on her hand | Source: Shutterstock

Both men agreed that it was an important choice and that the young girl should be given the opportunity to express her preference for where she should reside. The young child chose to remain with the OP and his wif

However, when the OP’s wife made it clear that she did not want children and that taking in his sister would mean that they had a child, the difficulty started. The woman argued that since the young girl’s uncle was able to adopt her, neither she nor her husband should.

Husband and wife arguing | Source: Shutterstock

The OP stated that he was not going to force his sister to stay with their uncle because she had indicated a desire to be with him, and because she was left without parents after their father passed away, he wanted to make sure she recovered well.

The OP and his wife were really upset by the choice. But eventually, the OP told his wife that, whether she liked it or not, he would let his sister stay with them. Additionally, he warned her that if she refused, they would get a divorce. They remained silent for some time after that.

Man and woman back to back on a couch not talking | Source: Shutterstock

The OP later updated the post to say that he and his wife had discussed it again and made the decision to part ways. And he said:

“She said you really are choosing your sister over me.”

The OP assured his wife that whatever she understood about the matter was acceptable and that he didn’t want to discuss it again. He added that at the moment, his sister was his top focus.

A father and daughter hugging | Source: Shutterstock

That was the last conversation the OP and his wife had. He also said: “I have been living with my sister for 1 week now. Being a single father-ish brother is definitely challenging, but I am really enjoying it.”

Regarding the OP’s post, a lot of people had strong opinions, with many of them feeling that he had done the right thing for his sister and that his wife was selfish for not welcoming a young girl in need into their house.

A comment left on the OP's post | Source: reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/

Someone else offered some wise counsel, advising that anyone reading the thread who had children should have a will specifying who would be in charge of looking after their kids when they passed away.

Another person described their story, claiming that when their half-sister took them home after their parents passed away, it was clear they weren’t desired there. When they were 15 years old, the individual fled, but neither their half-sister nor her husband noticed.

A comment left on the OP's post | Source: reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/

According to this poster, it was best that the OP and his wife separated because his sister would notice if she felt unwelcome. Even for them, according to a different person who did not have children, it would have been a deal-breaker.

Some defended the OP’s wife, claiming that she was aware of her limitations and was unable to care for a child who was experiencing such severe trauma. Another person claimed that although the OP’s wife did not want to be a mother, raising his sister would effectively force her into that role.

A comment left on the OP's post | Source: reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/

Another person stated that while they would typically support the wife, they didn’t feel it was fair to the OP and his sister because they felt the wife had been immature in her claim that the OP had chosen his sister above her.